Celebration

Where do you put your focus?  Is it on the things in life you haven’t got, or is it on the things in life you have?

This weekend I was invited to share in the celebration of a premiere of a musical in Reykjavik.  My friend had written and produced with his co-star a musical based on the characters they have been developing over the last few years.  It was a huge success, and although it was in Icelandic, there was so much to enjoy about the whole performance.  The impact, what you can pick up even when you don’t understand the language and the shear enjoyment of watching your friends achieve and enjoy and share their creativity.  And, there was a little celebration for me there too.  I was celebrating being a small and yet significant part of the process.  I asked the question which helped throw the pebble into the water.  What do you want this year to look like?  And if you could really dream about this year what would you do?

There was another celebration too, because the ‘after party’ was held in a bar, where I had done the same thing!  Asked the question or seen the possibility….

As a life coach I get to do this, I get to help people get things out of their lives, that are longing to be out there in the world.  That’s cool right!  Something to celebrate!  And I know that I am a light in many people’s lives, I am playful, naughty and fun.  And yet, and this is the glaring inconsistency I am rarely the light in my own life.  I rarely allow myself to celebrate me, and if I do a self-sabotaging thought will pop in almost imperceptibly and take me back to a default place of sadness or longing.  That I am not enough, that my life is not enough.

I see people, I understand people, I see their crap, (especially when they are trying to hide it.)  I have a radar within that is absolutely fixated on the truth.  It is my gift.  It is dangerous, because I tell the truth and in so doing can often throw people away.  When I was training to be a coach the leader of my course at the time, Helen, who is my own personal coach, said do you look for what’s right in someone or do you look for what’s wrong.  I naturally saw what was wrong, which isn’t very helpful if you are training to be a life coach.  And can also be very helpful if you are a life coach, because it is often the thing that is ‘wrong’ that is getting in your way.  So I trained myself to look for what’s right.  The absolute glorious potential of the human beings that come into my life, who they are and what they can be.

However, my default place with myself is to look at what I haven’t got, and that makes me sad.  It locks me into a spiral that I can never be satisfied or enjoy what I have.  On Friday I got an email from Tut: The Universe which said “If you want a miracle to happen, don’t focus on the miracle, focus on what you would like the picture to look like after the miracle has happened.”

I sat in a cafe with the Sun blazing down at my body and I felt my heart healing.  That I was no longer prepared to look at my life for what I don’t have, for what I do have is a gift to make me whole.  I have everything that I need.  Yes I have a deep emotional body that can feel great depths of sadness, and aren’t I lucky that I have a capacity to feel. However I don’t need to burden myself with always feeling that pain.  That is a choice because I also have this extraordinary capacity to create, receive and give love and light in the world and that is special.  That is to be celebrated.  So where I can create laughter in the world, I am now going to give myself the gift of creating laughter within, for me.  To celebrate and be grateful each day for who I am and what I have and all those people in my life who have helped me create this celebration.  And the difference is the language I train my thoughts to create.  I can be this or I can’t.  And actually I just can.

Cool huh!